YES I know I am behind. Catching up today.
6 days and moving fast!
Somewhere in the mid 90’s I was working Charlie shift with Officer Briefs, you might remember him and the shift from here http://tinyurl.com/8exo7bl. As was our tradition our days off were spent with each other in choir practice, or drinking whatever. I don’t remember the details, but there were some hard feelings that carried over from our time off towards Officer Briefs. After some discussion a plan was hatched for the next day we returned to shift.
During roll call Officer Matied went out to the parking lot and loaded Officer Briefs driver side air vents with baby powder and closed the other vents while insuring that the air was turned on full blast. To properly set the stage this situation it is important to understand how fastidious Officer Briefs was about his uniform. He reported to duty every shift with his boots sparkling and uniform pressed with creases that could cut glass, rumor was he even ironed his underwear and socks.
We waited in the parking lot for Ofc. Brief’s to turn the key and watch the white out, I honestly can’t remember when the baby powder bomb went off, but I can say that it exceeded everyone’s hopes. Once Officer Briefs turned the key an explosion of white went off in the car directed straight at him. After the initial shock wore off he exited his patrol car looking eerily similar to Casper the ghost and the back lot emptied.
Officer Briefs walked immediately to the watch commander’s office to discuss vehicle safety with Lt. Locks. Lt. Locks was pretty much the father of Charlie shift and he had always taken the stance of any good father, let the children fight it out between themselves. As Briefs and the Lt. discussed the dangers of chafing in Florida, humidity, and how Brief’s co-workers simply had his best interest in mind Officer Matied returned to the back lot and once again loaded Brief’s AC vents. In 1994 while starring in a movie called Nobody’s Fool Paul Newman’s character had a line that was so appropriate to Officer Matied filling up the Briefs vents again, “This is where an intelligent person would stop”.
Lt. Locks and Officer Briefs concluded there discussion on talcum powder and the need to reduce skin irritation in Florida during the summer. Officer Briefs took care to clean out his vehicle and change into a new uniform in the locker room. After some time he returned to his car ready to call in service only to start the car again to only be enveloped in another talcum blizzard. Officer Briefs once again entered the watch commander’s office and Lt. Locks decided that moderation was a more important subject for the shift rather than summer time chafing.